


Silence is Golden

by words_to_be_heard_not_spoken



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Adult Language, MC Is Not Afraid To Call The Brothers Out, No Romance, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Not a redemption fic, Panic Attacks, discussion of trauma, mentions of strangulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/words_to_be_heard_not_spoken/pseuds/words_to_be_heard_not_spoken
Summary: To say Nicolette was merely hurt would be an understatement, she was livid. It had been three days now since Belphegor had murdered her and the blasted demon has the audacity to pretend that he now cares for her! So she does what any rational person would do: enlists Solomon's help to work some magic of her own.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mentions of death/strangulation & adult language

To say Nicolette was merely hurt would be an understatement, she was livid. It had been three days now since Belphegor had murdered her, or as she had now been told oh so many fucking times, the _other her_. Too bad her mind doesn’t seem to care about that technicality, the memory of the evening haunting her like a ghost. And, just like a ghost no one else seemed to notice the subtle signs: how she struggled to breathe as soon as he entered the room, how she started to spend more time out of the house, and how her smiles never quite reached her eyes.

The first day, she held out hope. She had all these swirling emotions inside of her and she was not ready to decipher them yet. Instead she decided to focus on helping the brothers, that seemed to be a clearer path. After all, she understood that the brothers cared deeply about their sister, so if she could help them... She decided she could pretend for one day, give them the closure they seemed to so desperately crave. Perhaps that was her mistake.

The second day, she became unnerved. The brothers continued to treat her as a replacement for Lilith and even worse Belphegor had the audacity to pretend that he now cared for her. She knew better, no one changes that quickly—at least no one with good intentions. So, she began to distance herself, excusing herself early at meals and clinging to the angels and Solomon whenever possible.

The third day, she became livid. It was evident now that the brother’s behavior had become the new “normal”. Well, they may be content to forget the past, but she sure as hell wasn’t. She admittedly didn’t know how she was going to change the present situation, but she had a feeling she would think of something.

* * *

As it turns out, her Intro to Magical Concepts textbook was rather inspiring, particularly the section discussing bindings. Now all that was left was too convince Solomon to help her.

She decided to wait until the end of one of their increasingly frequent study sessions, gathering up her materials and she asked in as flat of a tone as she could muster, “From what I have been reading self-bindings are type of metaphysical restraint imposed by the caster against themselves that can be positive, negative, or neutral; correct?”

Solomon nodded. “That is correct. Though I must ask, why the sudden interest?”

Nicolette paused briefly, there was no need to beat around the bush: “Because I want to cast a self-binding to prevent myself from seeing or hearing Belphegor. Before you say anything, let me explain. I’m sure you’ve noticed how I’m spending significantly less time at the House of Lamentation?”

Solomon tilted his head to the side, the corners of his mouth creeping upwards.

“To be frank, I’m fucking done with all of the brothers' bullshit. I am not Lilith, yet they treat me as her replacement. They’ve always treated me different since I was human, but this is a whole other level of absurdity."

She sighed, her eyes wandering momentarily before she continued: “I’ve lost count of how many times one of them has actually _called me_ Lilith, not to mention when they bring me something that was clearly one of her favorites, expecting it to somehow also be my favorite. Seriously, I’m not even sure if some of the stuff was safe for humans!

"Anyway, back to the point: Belphegor. As much as the other brothers are pissing me off, he’s the worst. He’s taken to following me around and acting as if we’re best friends. I just… I can’t. I have been doing my best to avoid and ignore him, but I know how far he went to get what he wanted last time and I won’t stand idly by.”

Nicolette straightened her posture, her voice becoming stringent, “He crushed my throat, he took away my voice, so I think it’s only fair that I take away his. I’m not cocky enough to believe I could ever take away his voice in the true sense, but I can deprive him of his one means of interacting with me. If he can’t easily talk or interact with me then he can’t get what he so desperately craves right now: my attention.”

Solomon hummed thoughtfully, his grin becoming more apparent. After a moment he replied, “That is quite the plan. I take it that you need assistance gathering the materials and learning how to set up such a binding?”

“That is correct. I know that between my celestial heritage, pacts, and your guidance such a feat should possible. Though I’m not so naïve as to think you’ll do it for free, so Solomon, what do you want in return?”

A quick laugh erupted from his lips, “My, my, you have me pinned, don’t you? Very well, I think you will find my price reasonable: I want one of Belphegor’s personal effects, the more important to him, the better. I’m assuming you are amenable to such terms?”

Nicolette gave his face a once over, searching for any signs he was playing her, when she found none she acquiesced. She knew that giving him one of Belphegor’s personal effects was basically the equivalent of giving him the keys to forcing him into a pact, or at the very least making his life extraordinarily unpleasant, but honestly her last moral fuck had flown. If that’s what Solomon had planned it would serve him right.

They spent a few more minutes discussing the basics of what was needed and what the timeline would look like. Nicolette assured Solomon that she would be able to steal one of Belphegor’s napping pillows without much difficulty and Solomon estimated that it would only take him two days to gather all of the necessary materials. With that in mind, they decided to meet again in three days time, as a Saturday morning would allow them the most freedom.

* * *

Saturday morning could not come fast enough for Nicolette. She had been able to acquire one of Belphegor’s pillows without much of an issue. She had simply agreed to one of his invites for a nap and had then made an offhand comment about how comfortable the pillow was, noting how it was the best sleep she had had in a while. Before she got any further, Belphegor had declared that she could keep the pillow as long as she needed. The gesture was almost sweet, _almost_.

Solomon arrived early Saturday morning to pick her up from the house. They had both agreed that would be the best course of action as it would be hard to sneak the pillow if one of the brother’s accompanied her. For the most part the brothers were not early risers on the weekend, so it wasn’t too difficult for her to leave the house unnoticed.

Once they arrived at Purgatory Hall, Solomon explained what was required for the self-binding and made Nicolette reiterate his instructions until she could do so without concentration. Only then, did he let her perform the binding.

While the spell seemed to have been successful (she certainly felt _different_ somehow), they knew ahead of time that she would have to return to the House of Lamentation to be sure.

Despite this, she felt no rush to return, instead opting to help Luke test a new bread recipe and enjoying playful banter with Simeon over tea. It wasn’t meant to last though, as she received a text from Lucifer not long before dinner that made it clear she was expected to return to dine with them.

Well, she had put off testing the self-binding for most of the day, she couldn’t do it forever.

Her face must have been easy to read because Simeon kindly noted, “I take it that your presence is required elsewhere? Shall I walk you back?”

“Yes, that would be appreciated. Honestly, I’m not quite ready to leave, but Lucifer waits for no one."

Simeon chuckled, “You are quite right, that certainty has not changed over the years. On a separate note, I want you to know that while Luci does have a mean bark, I doubt he would truly bite you. Do not forget that you can still choose. If at any point you do not want to return to the House of Lamentation, you are always welcome to stay with us.”

Nicolette stopped in her tracks, locking eyes with Simeon.

“Thank you, I think I needed to hear that. I’ve already made a choice that I think will help, but we shall see what the repercussions are. I very well may take you up on that offer.”

She smiled and they finished the rest of the trip in a comfortable silence, ultimately parting ways with a hug. Then Nicolette took a moment, braced herself to face the brothers and strode into the house.

The first thing she noticed when she stepped into the dinning room was the difference in noise. As she had approached the room, she had heard the telltale sounds of Mammon and Levi bickering, but when she entered, they both quieted momentarily.

“Hey yer finally back! You can help me settle this debate once and for all right? Ya see–”

“Oh no you don’t! There is no way your stupid normie tactics are going to–”

She ignored them for a moment, instead opting to quickly glance around the room, attempting to ascertain if the self-binding had worked. It didn’t take her long to identify two empty chairs next two Beelzebub; it had worked. She could barely suppress her grin. The pieces were set, it was simply time to play the game and wait.

Knowing this, she finally interjected in the squabbling, “You know what, how about I remain neutral and you both refrain from debating at the dinner table, hmm? Last I checked dinner was for eating, not impromptu Lincoln-Douglas.” With that, she took her place at the table.

Her remarks stunned the two for demons for a moment, but the silence did not last for long. The dinner conversation flittered between insults, insinuations, and attempts to gain her favor rather quickly with oddly placed moments of quiet that she could only assume should've been filled with Belphegor talking. When such moments did occur, she merely feigned ignorance or disinterest and continued eating.

After the meal was over, she felt someone grab her arm, though she saw no one. It should have frightened her, but instead she felt powerful. If he was truly seeking her forgiveness, her friendship, then he would not quickly resort to harming her. Well, perhaps not until he pieced together exactly what she had done, but she had a feeling by then it would be too late as she doubted Solomon would wait long before playing his new hand.

With all this in mind, she turned on her heels, refusing to acknowledge his presence in the slightest and slipped her arm from his grasp. Once she returned to her room, Nicolette locked the door and shot a text to Solomon, letting him know that their studies this morning had payed off.

Not bothering to wait for a reply, she sprawled out on the bed, looking at the ceiling as a grin encapsulated her lips; silence really was golden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mentions of death/strangulation, description of a panic attack, discussion of trauma, & adult language

To say Nicolette felt freed as a result of the binding would be a gross understatement, she felt empowered. She had spent last night giddy with her success, but she knew that there was still much to be done. After all, the brothers’ behavior had yet to change, so she would have to speak up soon. Then there was the inevitability whatever fallout would come from Belphegor uncovering the finer points of her spell work, not to mention whatever Solomon had in the works.

Rather than dwell on the latter point (as she conceded there was little to do other than wait), she opted to focus her newfound energy on the brothers’ behavior. It would be more efficient to speak to them all at once, and she knew that there were only two ways to really achieve this: dinner or calling a family meeting.

She weighed the pros and cons of each. Dinner would certainly be more convenient, as she would not have to make any prior arrangements, but there was the concern that dinners tended to get out of hand rather quickly (meaning there was no guarantee she would get the chance to say her piece). On the other hand, a family meeting would require her to contact Lucifer, who would not doubt try and ascertain her reason for requesting such a thing in the first place. That said, it would be the easiest way to ensure that she had the chance to air all of her grievances…

In the end, she decided to text Lucifer, politely asking him if it would be possible to hold a family meeting that afternoon as she had something she wished to discuss with everyone. After dodging Lucifer’s inquiries as to what precisely she wanted to talk about (amongst multiple not-so-subtle reminders that if it pertained to the success of the exchange program she was under obligation to tell him _immediately_ ), her request was granted and a group text was sent out informing everyone.

Nicolette sauntered into the common room five minutes before the meeting started and quickly surveyed the room. So far it appeared only Satan was present, which wasn’t much of a surprise. He was lounging on one of the sofas, balancing a book rather precariously on his knees, and only acknowledged her entrance with a curt nod.

She approached him, deciding to sit on the opposite end of the same couch as it was optimally located for a speedy exit should the need arise. She then crossed her legs and occupied herself with her D.D.D. to avoid idle chit-chat. 

The brothers gradually tricked in, with Lucifer being the last to arrive. While she couldn’t see Belphegor, she assumed he entered with Beelzebub as the latter had appeared to be to be engaged in conversation with thin air upon his arrival.

Once everyone was settled, Lucifer announced, “As you are all aware, this meeting is rather unusual as I was not the one to request it, but rather Nicolette.”

As Lucifer continued his eyes wandered around the room, connecting with each brother, ultimately landing on Mammon as he added: “Regardless, I ask you all to be respectful and to refrain from too many interruptions, though I know that is likely an impossible request.”

“Hey!” Mammon retorted, “I can be polite, just you watch!”

Lucifer turned his head away from Mammon, though the move did little to hide his rolling eyes.

Figuring this would be as good a place to start as any, Nicolette cleared her throat, attempting to shift the attention to her and began: “I’m sure you’re all wondering why I called this meeting, so I’ll just cut to the case: I’m fucking done with y’alls bullshit.”

As soon as those words left her mouth, she saw surprise flutter across most of the brothers' faces, the notable exception being Satan though Lucifer also managed to suppress his shock before it overtook his face.

Mammon appeared to have already forgotten his prior statement, his mouth opening to reply, but before any words escaped Nicolette continued, a layer of anger coating her voice, “Do not interrupt me! I’ve been trying to communicate this to you for the past week, but it seems that even with millennia under your belt, you are all illiterate when it comes to nonverbal or non-explicit cues!

She fixed her eyes on the wall, keeping her head high as her words permeated the room. “I’m going to explain this in as plain terms as I can: ever since I was fucking _strangled to death_ and you all found out I was descended from Lilith your behavior around me has changed. Normally I would think this would make a lot of sense, but nope! You lot are completely dismissing the fact that one of you—what was it? Oh yeah, MURDERED ME.”

Nicolette took a deep breath, attempting to ground herself. Her voice threatening to crack as she persisted, “I refuse to forget what happened that day. I know Belphegor’s your brother, but did even one of you ever stop and think about how I felt sleeping under the same roof as the person who killed me and smiled about it? And no, I don’t give a rat’s ass about how it was ‘another me’.”

As her eyes flickered around the room, everyone was looking increasingly uncomfortable. Beelzebub was staring at the floor, Levi was fidgeting with his phone, Mammon was picking his nails, and both Satan and Lucifer had crossed their limbs. But she wasn’t done.

“But that’s not the only thing I’m upset about.” Her voice became quiet, almost like a whisper. “Did you know I’ve lost count of how many times one of has called me Lilith now? Or brought me something that she liked as if I were her? I hate to break it to you, but I’m not Lilith and I never will be. You can delude yourselves as much as you want, but that won’t change reality.”

She exhaled slowly, “So I wanted to let you know that until you start treating me as _me_ , I won’t be interacting with you. I can’t take it anymore; I’m not going to be an actress in a play I never signed up for.”

Nicolette stood up, moving toward the door as she stated: “That’s all I have to say. I’ll leave and let you think about it.” And with that she left, not bothering to look back.

* * *

To her surprise Satan was actually the first brother to approach her, his arms laden with books. While their conversation was not a long one, it was productive. By the end of it, she finally felt heard and understood; two feelings she desperately hoped would become more common in the coming days. Satan also left her with plenty of books, the subjects varying from the psychology of trauma, to learning healthy coping mechanisms, to a phone book-sized guide about sloth demons. She had to admit, she was intrigued by the books, particularly the one about sloth demons.

Unfortunately, before she could get very far with her reading, as she was interrupted by Mammon, followed by Beelzebub. Mammon’s face was red, his eyes darting around the room more than usual as he stumbled through what was clearly his best attempt at his apology. He had stayed afterwards, refusing to leave even when Beelzebub gave him a quick, pleading look prior to beginning his apology. Beelzebub’s apology was short and to the point, his body hunched, and a noticeable amount of personal space left between them.

It was then time for dinner, which was perhaps the quietest affair it had ever been as far as she was aware. Afterwards, Levi pulled her aside, stumbling over his apology as he failed miserably at even attempting to make any sort of eye contact. 

Then she settled back in her room, cracking open the first of the large of pile of books Satan had left for her. She had gotten a few chapters in when Asmo knocked on her door, asking if he could come in for a chat. She relented and what followed was a more heart-felt apology than she had honestly expected from the Avatar of Lust.

After he left, she decided to turn in for the night, exhausted by the events of the day. She could process at a later date.

When she woke, she noticed Lucifer had texted her during an ungodly hour of the night. The message was curt, not exactly an apology but more of a reminder that for the exchange program to be fruitful, it was her job to inform him of any possible threats to its success.

She could appreciate his loyalty, but that didn’t stop her eyes from rolling as she finished glancing over the message.

Oh well, Nicolette didn’t have time to sit and idle. She had noticed that all but one of the brothers had approached her now, and while she couldn’t rule out that Belphegor had in some way attempted to apologize yesterday, she had a gut feeling that he would start catching on soon; best to be prepared.

She eyed the book Satan had given her on sloth demons and added it to her school bag before heading to downstairs, perhaps some reading could shed some light on what her next move should be.

At least breakfast was uneventful. Everyone appeared to be on their best behavior, it was as if a switch had been flipped. In a way it made Nicolette happy, this is what she wanted right? But there was still this pit in her stomach, something she couldn’t quite shake. There was some piece she was overlooking. Maybe it had something to do with Beelzebub’s worry-laced comment (most certainly aimed at Belphegor) regarding his apparent all-nighter. That had Solomon written all over it; she would have to remain vigilant over the next couple days. While she figured his end-goal was a pact, one could never be too sure with the sorcerer.

Her mind began wandering to what other possible schemes Solomon could be planning, so she when she ran into someone she quickly apologized, continuing on her way blissfully ignorant of the tired demon who had been trying to get her attention.

* * *

Over the next week she noticed two things: the brothers were becoming increasingly concerned with Belphegor’s continued lack of sleep and the asshole was becoming ever more insistent with his attempts to garter her attention. At first it had just been tapping her shoulder or grabbing her arm, but now… Now she found herself frequently colliding with him, quite literally. Then when he did reach out for her, his touches lingered.

Each time she would wriggle free as quickly as possible, attempting to mask any emotions appearing on her face as she left in silence. Though she was rapidly realizing this tactic was becoming ineffective. She needed something else, but what?

Unfortunately, before Nicolette had much time to reflect on her next steps she heard the sound of glass shattering downstairs. The ruckus began growing in volume as a cacophony of voices were added to the fray.

Not keen on bearing witness to whatever violence was surely underway downstairs, Nicolette decided it would be best to remain in her room. That certainly did not stop her from shooting an inquiring text to Satan though, even if she feared she already knew the answer.

Satan replied swiftly, politely asking that she remain in her room for the time being and explaining that Beelzebub had gone on a bit of a rampage in the kitchen. He then proceeded to confirm her suspicions: Solomon had made a pact with Belphegor. Beelzebub did not take the news well…

For a minute Nicolette just sat there. This was a good thing right? Well, good in the way that it would piss Belphegor off. Plus, a pact would mean less free time...

Oh fuck this, she was just going to text Solomon. She wanted to know what else he had up that sleeve of his.

Congratulations on the pact **:Nicolette**

**Solomon:** Why thank you. I take it the brothers have been informed?

Yes, that’s one way to put it **:Nicolette**

**Solomon:** Oh, I should tell you, Belphegor was being rather… Uncooperative in terms of agreeing to a pact, so I had to adapt my original plan somewhat.

Alright… **:Nicolette**

**Solomon:** The simplified version is that Belphegor knows about the binding now.

…I appreciate the heads up **:Nicolette**

 **Solomon:** You’re welcome.

In the future, I’d ask you to not rat me out in exchange for a pact, but we both know you’d do it again in a heartbeat **:Nicolette**

**Solomon:** You know me so well!

But of course **:Nicolette**

Right after she finished replying to Solomon, she heard a knock at the door. After brief pause the door swung open, reveling a floating notepad and pen. She heard the door click shut and watched as the notepad ominously approached her, the sound of a pen scratching against paper seeming to fill the room.

Well shit… The bastard certainly didn’t waste time, she would give him that. She wanted to bundle under the covers and ignore him, pretend to be blissfully unaware of his presence, but she knew the time for that tactic had sailed. She sighed, reaching for the nearest pillow on her bed to prop up against. If she was going to be put through this farce, she sure as hell was going to be comfortable.

As much as she loathed the thought of talking to him, she had plenty of choice words for the demon in question. Her internal debate was quickly thrown aside however as a note in cursive script was shoved in her face. “I know about your binding. It’s rather cunning for a human, I’ll give you that. But I already apologized; you don’t have anything to fear from me anymore. You’re family. I want to get to know you, but you refuse to let me near you. So tell me, why?”

Nicolette looked at the words incredulously, blinking rapidly. “Why?” Her voice parroted softly, before gaining confidence and volume as she continued, “I’ll tell you why. Let’s walk through what you wrote, hmm? First of all, thanks, I’ll take that as a compliment. Second, you didn’t apologize you oblivious asshat. Because guess what, that would require actual remorse for your actions!”

She noticed that the notepad had turned horizontal, with the pen beginning to dance across it furiously. Clearly she had already hit a nerve, lovely. Energized, she persisted, “The thing is, you don’t regret your actions, you regret your lack of knowledge. You regret Lucifer’s decision to keep you in the dark about Lilith’s fate and you regret not knowing about my heritage before using me as a pawn in your scheme. But the problem is that you have never taken even a shred of responsibility for your actions.

“Guess what, I don’t give a flying fuck if you ‘lacked knowledge’ when you made the decision to murder me in cold blood after I spent months trying to help you. C’est la vie sweetheart; we never get the full picture. We just have to take the pieces that we have, assemble them as best we are able, then live with the consequences.

“Third, you say I have nothing to fear from you? That’s rich. You smiled while chocking the life out of me, now I’m supposed to just forget? Wipe the slate clean simply because you say so… How terribly convenient. I say fuck that. Trust is earned, getting to know me—that’s a privilege—and guess what, I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

Before Nicolette could collect herself, a paper practically flew at her face, dangling right before her nose. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly before reading what he wrote.

“Don’t presume to speak for me. We may be related but our experiences are fundamentally different; I am a demon, which is something you seem to have trouble comprehending. It is in my nature to be cruel, so of course I would betray you. Any lower demon would have done the same, as you said: c’est la vie. That said, I thought I made it clear that all that was the past. If you want me to earn your trust then so be it, but you have to give me the chance.”

Her hands moved downwards, grasping the blanket as her eyes re-read the last sentence, was he truly this oblivious? Her chest tightened, before she broke, wailing, “YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED TO A CHANCE!”

A dam broke inside her, the words pouring out: “News flash: being distantly related to me doesn’t entitle you to anything! It doesn’t entitle you to forgiveness, or a place in my life. A friend reminded me of something a while ago, that while it may not always seem like it, I always have the ability to choose. And you know what? He was right. I choose myself. I can forgive myself for trusting you, but I sure as hell don’t have to forgive you. Not now, not ever.”

After finishing her proclamation, she could feel her eyes beginning to water. Before she could reach for the box of tissues on the nightstand, she felt a hand ghost over her check. The response was immediate: her body began to shake, the nervous flutter overtaking her body as her heart pounded increasingly faster in her chest. An itching feeling to run whispered in the back of her mind as the distinct shapes in her room began to blur. When did everything become so fuzzy? Why was…

Run. She needed to run. But where?

Throat, her throat was so tight. Breathe? Could she breathe?

Too loud. Everything’s too loud. A drum, scratching, sobbing. Loud, loud, loud. When would it stop?

Door. Where was the… Door. She could have sworn it was…

She just needed to get to the door.

Breathe.

Take a Step. Door. She could see it now. It was out of focus, but it was there.

Her legs pushed up off the bed. Good. First step. Second? She needed to take a second. Why weren’t her legs working? Bad legs, bad legs; Jell-O legs hated her. They were trying to kill her. Kill her?

Breathe. She still couldn’t-

When did the floor get so close? Floor, door. Door, floor. Out, she needed out. But everything was heavy now. Why was it heavy?

Hands. Were they hers? Hers… Her hands. No. Not hers? Not hers. Not hers. HIS.

She screamed, the hazy room closing in around her.

* * *

It took Nicolette several hours to regain a semblance of calm. The brothers had come running after hearing her scream; luckily Satan had quickly pieced together the gist of what happened and with her permission, he helped her through a variety of breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques for anxiety. She was still disquieted by the whole affair (and horrified at the thought of ever having another panic attack) but at least she was no longer shaking like a leaf.

It also bothered her that she had no idea what exactly happened regarding Belphegor, as she had been a bit too preoccupied trying to remember how to breathe. She tried not to let it bother her too much though, instead focusing on things she could control. Today had put come things in perspective for her. She had thought the combination of the binding and speaking to the brothers was enough, but it clearly wasn’t. No, she needed to talk to Lucifer and Satan about their brother.

As it turns out, the two demons had exactly the same idea; both contacted her the next day, asking to check-in. She knew it was risky, but she created a group chat with the two of them and asked if they would be willing to meet together. She honestly didn’t think she could repeat everything twice. She was exhausted.

Fortunately, they acquiesced, agreeing to meet in Lucifer’s study an hour later.

When Nicolette arrived, the two demons were already there, a silence carpeting the room. She sat down as quickly as she could, reminding herself to breathe.

Lucifer looked at her attentively, “So, what did you wish to speak to us about?”

Nicolette fidgeted a moment, attempting to find a comfortable position. Her voice was soft, but firm: “I don’t feel safe living here anymore. I think it would be better for me to live in Purgatory Hall.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, and Satan motioned for her to continue, no sign of surprise on his face.

“A little over a week ago I cast a self-binding to prevent myself from seeing or hearing Belphegor. I thought it was fitting. He wanted my attention so badly, but I couldn’t—and still can’t—stand his presence. It seemed like the perfect solution. I know now that it was a band-aid.”

She could see the wheels beginning to turn in their heads as she continued, “Yesterday solidified something for me: I can’t heal under the same roof as him. Simply put, it would destroy the remaining shreds of my mental health.” She sucked in a shaky breath, “Right now, I need to prioritize myself. I’m not okay and I’m done being silent about it. So please, let me move.”

Satan gave an approving nod, while Lucifer pondered for a moment before replying, “I will have to check with Lord Diavolo before you make an official move, but given the circumstances I believe we can work something out. Until then, I believe sleepovers are a wonderful opportunity for cultural exchange, so it would be poor form if I were to discourage them.”

Nicolette grinned, “Thank you!”

Clearing his throat, Satan interjected: “I agree that moving is a good idea. I also would like to offer my help in setting up some wards designed specifically against Belphegor’s magic. While I hope such steps are unnecessary, one can never be too careful.”

His green eyes meet hers. “That would be much appreciated, thank you Satan.” She paused for a second, as if to debate her words. “If it’s not a bother, I was wondering if you had any books about panic attacks?”

“There is one in my collection that comes to mind, you are free to pick it up whenever you like. While I certainly find comfort in reading, I would also encourage you to find someone to talk to. As the Avatar of Wrath, I can tell you that bottling up emotions rarely leads to a desired outcome.”

She smiled at his words, appreciating his openness. “Noted. I will add that to my to-do list.” And with that, their meeting was adjourned.

* * *

The next few weeks were a blur. After Lord Diavolo granted Nicolette’s request to move to Purgatory Hall she quickly fell into a rhythm: mornings were for tea with Simeon, afternoons for studying with Solomon, and evenings for baking with Luke. It wasn’t perfect. She had plenty of rough days, but there were also wonderful days. She began to live for the wonderful moments and live through the rough ones. She also found that Simeon was a rather good listener and while talking about it wasn’t easy, it did ease her sense of loneliness; she no longer had to carry her burdens alone.

Thinking back, in some ways, she had been right: silence was golden. Like gold though, silence is fickle, and it never filled the hole in her heart. Silence was overrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if the direction of the second chapter came as a surprise to some of you (I'm also sorry this chapter took me so long to write, it was a difficult one!). I wanted to write about more than just simply the fallout with Belphegor, so that's what I did. As always thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
